A weekend with the in-laws.

Because last weekend was Easter and Thomas was receiving the aaronic priesthood some of Don's family members were able to come down to celebrate with us.
His sister Melinda ran away (drove really even though she runs, or bikes fast, far and lot these days) from her husband and kids to do some fun shopping and spa treatments by herself here in Vegas, his brother Paul accompanied by his lovely wife Chalaine and highly strung up baby Bailey flew in to spend the weekend at our house. Late Saturday his mom and dad came down to stay with us too.
For starters Don was able to take Friday off to spend some time with his siblings.
On a side note, how come he always manages to take a day off to hang out with his sibs or to do something for the Youth of the Church, but when I ask him to take some time off to hang with us, it's like asking for the moon???

After picking up Paul et al. at the airport, after a late in-service workshop at work, instead of coming home he figured it would make more sense to spend the night there instead of driving all the way home and then wake up at some insane early hour to go biking with them at the opposite side of the valley. Don spent the night on the floor at the hotel at The Lakes where Melinda was staying and the 5 of them spent the night crammed in one room with a cranky baby. Needless my hubby who doesn't do crying babies (ask me about our 4 crying babies one day) didn't sleep a wink. After waking at some ungodly hour the 3 crazies went biking for 38 miles anyway. Don figured that his 20 miles were sufficient for one day and was wise enough to wait for them on the return part of the loop to Lake Mead.
Later they went to Hoover Dam, had lunch and eventually made their way up to our home
Mind you this is during Spring break, and because the kids were sick until Wednesday and most of the week prior, I hadn't done anything with them. So that they would not feel left out of a lame school break I took them to the Cold Stone Creamery for some ice cream. We picked up our traditionnal pizzas at Papa Murphy's and spent an inordinate amount of time picking chocolates for Easter.
I hope the children never realize what their dad does unconsciously. He avoids us. That may sound rude and rough, but how can you describe his behavior? I asked him, no I told him once that his family is us now, and if he had to make a statement he should put us first. He never answered that particular question. So here we are. oh boy I don't think I ever realized until I wrote it just now, what he does. Whenever his family comes around he just leaves us behind, it's the same when we go up to Utah. He palyed taxi Friday, Saturday and Sunday back and forth at least 5 times between our house and downtown or further.
I never got to see any of my friends when we lived there, wew were either around the friends we had made in common since being married or his family. I get so bored when we go up. Most of the sil. I would get along with are doing their own stuff. Plus I'm not in the super fitness stuff, so I don't fit. Thankfully I love reading and I always bring a good book along. I know that's how he destresses. But it's never in small groups, it's always very chaotic and loud and disorganized, too many people coming and going. No real time for bonding and sharing. If it's not physical and doing something, somehow competing (whether they realize it or not), there's nothing. So much so when I ask myself what I want to do I come up blank unless it's some alone activity by myself.
So this past weekend was not relaxing. Friday night our local bil. came over with his 2 little ones, his wife had to work. The oldest is ok when she's here but my kids tend to be a bit protective of their stuff for good reason sometimes, and we played Guitar Hero (there goes some doing).
Saturday was a bit more relaxed and I loved visiting with my sweet sil. in the morning. More up my alley. That's what I liked to do when we used to go to his Call aunt and uncle in Indiana. They have a cooler way of life for learning to be a real family. They take time to talk to each other. There is a real feeling of unity.
Then Saturday night came and the grandparents arrived. I always dread the arrival of my fil. He brings in a level of stress unmatched. Everyone agrees with that assessment and disses him behind his back, but don't confront him or else.
Despite it being an unecessary expense we decided to go try out the buffet at the new Aliante Casino. 15 of us we there. Just not my way of enjoying dinner when our local bil was there as well, and his daughter was OUT of CONTROL, and he wouldn't do anything about it: "his wife won't let him".
What kind of answer is that? If my kid hits me and calls me names, she/he gets a very stern talk down before a physical reprimand (une fessée). Is this boy/man going to stand for himself one day, we keep wondering and most of us were pretty astounded to such admission. It's not the first time he uses such a phrase as, "... will/won't let me". Can't figure being so emasculinated as to not be able to discipline one's own child or making a decision without one's spouse permission. I'm not saying decisions should be made unilaterally but to the point of not being able to assert oneself is not right.
I guess I should quit for now. this post is not too pretty, I'm just frustrated at how some people's behavior affects me and my family and my feelings of worth when they are around. And how my husband behaves with them around too. I'll leave Sunday dinner uncommented. We would see how I'm not in charge in my home anymore when they're here. Chaos is the best shorthand for it and I surrender. I like most of my inlaws and prefer them in small groups,but I don't get that very often. Bummer! I'm sure I wouldn't be so stressed (translate that as grumpy) if I actually got to spend some quiet time with them.
The kids like their aunts & uncles and miss them: Céleste wouldn't let go of her uncle Paul all weekend and Thomas asked several times to join Don et al in their bike riding. Nathan & Joseph couldn't care less, they know it's no use, they rather just play by themselves as usual. Only the 2 emotionnally needy ones feel the rejection.
Oh well, that's life, suck it up!