What were they thinking??!!

Easter being a week after his birthday, Thomas' grandma said in his birthday card and on the phone that she would bring a present for him when they would come.
The boy was so excited to see what he would receive. Don's mom called last Tuesday and asked for suggestions. Don mentionned twice that a gift certificate to "Barnes and Nobles" or "Borders" for our bookworm would be great (since his mom is a bookworm too). Thomas was clamoring for Legos or cash and I was hinting at some green as well, to put toward his new violin.
Well on Saturday, Thomas experienced the disappointment of the century while I went in shock.
This is what he was presented with!

T. can't stand it, I won't look at it because I find it disgusting, and Don was just stunned that they would just stop at a truck stop and grab this.
They didn't have to get him a present if they can't afford it, my parents rarely sends the children stuff in the mail because of cost, so they use the phone.
However after mentionning to him a couple of times, that they were bringing him a present, they were committed. I don't care if you are late, don't buy an object just to say you did your duty. I felt so bad for T. I would have cried. He remained polite and thanked his grandma and said it was an interesting gift, even if it was such a let down.
I was impressed by my son's maturity in how he handled it. What a grand soul!
When he pulls such a mature reaction, I know why I expect so much out of him, I know he has so much potential and stature in him. I know why I push him to do better, because he can.
Thomas, you are my hero in your moments of great kindness. Je t'aime. Maman.

A new family member

It's been a few weeks since the last post. Almost a month. Pfew being at risk for an old cliché, well, time flies!

After several years of pressure, we got ourselves a dog! I didn't really want to post about him (yeah it's another boy in the house) because Don in his enthusiasm posted about him on Facebook the same evening we adopted him. That was March 28th. I figured everyone who would know already didn't need to read about it here. But since this is about the family, I can't ignore it. It's like me not writing in my journal for the past 16 or so years, like nothing important ever happened in that time frame, except.. I got married to a great guy who made me move from one continent to the next and then several times on said new continent, gave birth to 4 incredible children in the process, and on and on. So I could not write a few lines about adding a dog to the brood.

For one, I've always been afraid of dogs: thought they were too needy, too messy, too expensive to keep (you know extra food, extra medical bills, etc). Cats on the other hand are more my type, but it seems a few people in this family are allergic to them beginning by me. So "Niet" to cats as mammal pets. The snakes we had in Illinois were just about the perfect pets: they didn't crave attention from us to pet them, we could handle them if we wanted too but they didn't feel abandonned or neglected if we didn't, they ate earth worm, which the kids handled just fine, and since they were caught in the wild they could always be disposed of easily in case they needed to go. They didn't bark, didn't get too dirty in the tank, and when they shed, it was all at once and very cool to behold.

So how did I give in to a dog? A few months back Don (always him. if you haven't figured it out by now, he has a prominent place in my life) innocently asked me what kind of dog I found cute. After searching pictures of dogs, I settle on the westies; with their cute faces and small size they are less threatening than any dog in my opinion. Upon hearing my opinion Don jumped to the conclusion that we were Go for a dog! WHAT ? How would he make such a jump when the question asked was "what kind of dog do you find cute?", not "Can we have a dog now?". Needless to say that I said "no" to the later. I didn't have to pursue the matter very long since upon further research the cost of purchasing such a puppy is not even something we could consider. I thought the matter closed, until March 22. You see Don (yeah the same) has always wanted a dog and in particular a husky or a malamute type dog. He has even found a few over the years that he's brought home then driven to the shelter for them to be later claimed by their owners. Back to March 22, he happened to be browsing the Nevada SPCA website with the adoptable dogs and found a westie there. He thought it was destiny or something like that. A few weeks prior he had felt that we should look into adopting (as in adding another child to the family, maybe a sister for Cheeks) but I think the road took us a different way. The very next day he went to the shelter to see the posted puppy and despite leaving work early, because of impending closing hours, he was rejected at the door with 1 min. to spare and was told to return the next day at 11 AM. In his words "fat chance, that would happen". However in hopes that the cute dog would still be there on Saturday, I had time to think if I really wanted to do this. In the meantime, my loving mother thought it might be a good idea for our son Thomas to love and care for a creature that would not judge him like his own mother does, etc... So I did think and came Saturday I reluctantly embarked in a family trip to the shelter. We saw lots of dogs in 3 diffrent places that day (of course the adorable westie named Heidi was long gone) starting at 10h30 until 19h00. We did bring home Kiba (which means "Fang" ion Japanese) the awesome shiba inu (which mean brushwood or red dog in Japanese) that very day. He looks like a mini husky which fulfills one of Don aspirations. He doesn't bark too much, nor jump on people, nor sniffs people in private parts. I think he is a good fit for us. Don takes him on his daily jogs in the morning and I tend to take care of the evening/late afternon walks. He gets us out of the house. My main issue with him is the shedding though so much to make sure is clean for a neat freak like me.

Also, I don't know if I'm allergic to him or if it's all the stuff in the air, I've been sneezing quite a bit lately. But then the kids were all sick just before and during Spring break last week.

There we are for the next 10 years or so. We have rescued a 3 year old dog. It's like having a toddler around that will never get out of that stage... Wish me luck and patience. We are starting training lessons this Saturday.

A weekend with the in-laws.

Because last weekend was Easter and Thomas was receiving the aaronic priesthood some of Don's family members were able to come down to celebrate with us.
His sister Melinda ran away (drove really even though she runs, or bikes fast, far and lot these days) from her husband and kids to do some fun shopping and spa treatments by herself here in Vegas, his brother Paul accompanied by his lovely wife Chalaine and highly strung up baby Bailey flew in to spend the weekend at our house. Late Saturday his mom and dad came down to stay with us too.
For starters Don was able to take Friday off to spend some time with his siblings.
On a side note, how come he always manages to take a day off to hang out with his sibs or to do something for the Youth of the Church, but when I ask him to take some time off to hang with us, it's like asking for the moon???

After picking up Paul et al. at the airport, after a late in-service workshop at work, instead of coming home he figured it would make more sense to spend the night there instead of driving all the way home and then wake up at some insane early hour to go biking with them at the opposite side of the valley. Don spent the night on the floor at the hotel at The Lakes where Melinda was staying and the 5 of them spent the night crammed in one room with a cranky baby. Needless my hubby who doesn't do crying babies (ask me about our 4 crying babies one day) didn't sleep a wink. After waking at some ungodly hour the 3 crazies went biking for 38 miles anyway. Don figured that his 20 miles were sufficient for one day and was wise enough to wait for them on the return part of the loop to Lake Mead.
Later they went to Hoover Dam, had lunch and eventually made their way up to our home
Mind you this is during Spring break, and because the kids were sick until Wednesday and most of the week prior, I hadn't done anything with them. So that they would not feel left out of a lame school break I took them to the Cold Stone Creamery for some ice cream. We picked up our traditionnal pizzas at Papa Murphy's and spent an inordinate amount of time picking chocolates for Easter.
I hope the children never realize what their dad does unconsciously. He avoids us. That may sound rude and rough, but how can you describe his behavior? I asked him, no I told him once that his family is us now, and if he had to make a statement he should put us first. He never answered that particular question. So here we are. oh boy I don't think I ever realized until I wrote it just now, what he does. Whenever his family comes around he just leaves us behind, it's the same when we go up to Utah. He palyed taxi Friday, Saturday and Sunday back and forth at least 5 times between our house and downtown or further.
I never got to see any of my friends when we lived there, wew were either around the friends we had made in common since being married or his family. I get so bored when we go up. Most of the sil. I would get along with are doing their own stuff. Plus I'm not in the super fitness stuff, so I don't fit. Thankfully I love reading and I always bring a good book along. I know that's how he destresses. But it's never in small groups, it's always very chaotic and loud and disorganized, too many people coming and going. No real time for bonding and sharing. If it's not physical and doing something, somehow competing (whether they realize it or not), there's nothing. So much so when I ask myself what I want to do I come up blank unless it's some alone activity by myself.
So this past weekend was not relaxing. Friday night our local bil. came over with his 2 little ones, his wife had to work. The oldest is ok when she's here but my kids tend to be a bit protective of their stuff for good reason sometimes, and we played Guitar Hero (there goes some doing).
Saturday was a bit more relaxed and I loved visiting with my sweet sil. in the morning. More up my alley. That's what I liked to do when we used to go to his Call aunt and uncle in Indiana. They have a cooler way of life for learning to be a real family. They take time to talk to each other. There is a real feeling of unity.
Then Saturday night came and the grandparents arrived. I always dread the arrival of my fil. He brings in a level of stress unmatched. Everyone agrees with that assessment and disses him behind his back, but don't confront him or else.
Despite it being an unecessary expense we decided to go try out the buffet at the new Aliante Casino. 15 of us we there. Just not my way of enjoying dinner when our local bil was there as well, and his daughter was OUT of CONTROL, and he wouldn't do anything about it: "his wife won't let him".
What kind of answer is that? If my kid hits me and calls me names, she/he gets a very stern talk down before a physical reprimand (une fessée). Is this boy/man going to stand for himself one day, we keep wondering and most of us were pretty astounded to such admission. It's not the first time he uses such a phrase as, "... will/won't let me". Can't figure being so emasculinated as to not be able to discipline one's own child or making a decision without one's spouse permission. I'm not saying decisions should be made unilaterally but to the point of not being able to assert oneself is not right.
I guess I should quit for now. this post is not too pretty, I'm just frustrated at how some people's behavior affects me and my family and my feelings of worth when they are around. And how my husband behaves with them around too. I'll leave Sunday dinner uncommented. We would see how I'm not in charge in my home anymore when they're here. Chaos is the best shorthand for it and I surrender. I like most of my inlaws and prefer them in small groups,but I don't get that very often. Bummer! I'm sure I wouldn't be so stressed (translate that as grumpy) if I actually got to spend some quiet time with them.
The kids like their aunts & uncles and miss them: Céleste wouldn't let go of her uncle Paul all weekend and Thomas asked several times to join Don et al in their bike riding. Nathan & Joseph couldn't care less, they know it's no use, they rather just play by themselves as usual. Only the 2 emotionnally needy ones feel the rejection.
Oh well, that's life, suck it up!

Easter Sunday & Thomas' priesthood ordination

Our oldest son Thomas turned 12 years old on April 5th. His birthday fell on General Conference Sunday this year and he had to wait another week to be ordained to the aaronic priesthood as a deacon, so besides it being Easter we had a great family gathering for this milestone in his life.

He wanted to hear about the day of his birth. We had a great outing together: he and I caught a late show for the movie "Race to Witch Mountain" complete with smuggled candy. Don stayed home to sleep and put the other 3 down too. It was really cool, just the 2 of us, like a date, like the outings we used to do just the 2 of us when he was so little before Nathan came along.

I've always loved the song "Just the 2 of us" by Grover Washington Jr. but this version by Will Smith is more about how Thomas & I were and more especially him and his dad.


I can't believe his life is progressing so fast. We moved to Vegas just a few months after Nathan's baptism when he was 8 and Thomas was only 10 and now he is part of the Young Men organization. The top of his head reaches under my chin. I love it when he comes to hug me after school and he is so close for me to hug back. I used to imagine what it would be like to have a tall son when he was just an infant/toddler, and now that it's here I want time to stand still. In another 4 years he'll be driving and another 3 after that he'll be leaving for his mission, followed by his brothers. I don't think I'm ready for time to accelerate at such a dizzying speed.

Granted my children argue during their breaks, but unlike some parents I hear, I am never in a hurry for them to return to school. Like a mother hen, I love having my chicks around. clucking or no clucking included.

Easter is my favorite holiday, unlike Christmas I don't decorate and don't buy presents (on y chocolates for our inevitable easter Egg hunt), I just spend some time thinking, pondering on the meaning of the Atonement and Resurrection. It gives me so much hope that it helps me handle the time passing by too quickly and reminds me that even if I hate change, I will eventually keep my children with me forever. Consequently, Sunday was emotionnally charged and joyful for me.

Yeah I need to cut the cord. I do want them to be independent and for that I know they have to leave me to really learn to be strong.